What family meals teach us about Eucharist
If Julia Child is not a saint, she is at least a “blessed” in my book. She changed how Americans understand meal sharing, and meal sharing is central to our lives as Catholics.
We can learn some essential principles from Julia about the importance of family dining and how eating together teaches us about Eucharist. The basics of the Eucharist include four actions: take, bless, break, and share. If the family meal is also centered on these basic actions, it will help us understand more about Eucharist.
Take
The first thing we take is time. Part of the spirituality of meal sharing is taking the time to be present to one another. Underneath the task of planning, preparing, and eating the meal is a spirit of presence. What we are essentially taking is ourselves, bringing our lives to the table. Simply taking the time to be with one another reflects the way in which Jesus always took time with those he loved.
For many households, taking time to dine will be difficult. Nevertheless, if the Eucharist is going to be central in the lives of Catholics, we need to make dining a central part of family life. As a catechist, you can help by encouraging families to spend at least two nights a week together (including Sunday) to have a significant dining experience. You might even consider writing up a short contract for families to sign. To start, make the contract for a limited duration. For example:
“During the Christmas season [insert dates], the __________ family will take time to dine on Sunday evening and one other evening each week.” (signatures and date)
The second thing we take is care. Give parishioners, especially the children, a take-home list of simple ways to take care of each other at every meal.
- We begin eating only when everyone is ready.
- We begin eating after the meal is blessed, even if eating in a public place.
- Everyone is especially conscious during meal times of using good manners (for example, saying please and thank you, using napkins, not reaching, not interrupting).
- We only leave the table (or car) after everyone is finished eating or when excused by an adult.
Bless
What does it mean to bless a meal? According to the Book of Blessings (1987, USCCB), blessings traditionally do one of three things:
- glorify God
- ask God for favors
- restrain the power of evil in the world (cf. no. 11).
When we bless our meals, we should remember that the reason for the blessing is centered on the people who will be doing the eating, not primarily on the food. Even when we pray the usual “Bless us, O Lord,” “Us” comes before “these your gifts.”
As catechists, we can challenge households to be creative in their meal blessing. A simple (and ancient) formula for blessing is You-Who-Do-Through. An example of a blessing using this formula might be:
[You] Father in heaven
[Who] who creates and feeds our family,
[Do 1] bless us and this meal we are about to share
[Do 2] and keep us always safe.
[Through] We ask this through your Son, Jesus Christ who lives in glory with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. Amen.
Try writing a couple of your own, and then see if you can get both adults and children to create some You-Who-Do-Through blessings for their family tables.
Break
“Breaking bread,” a common expression for meal sharing, is at once a very basic and very spiritual activity. To break bread together is to break open ourselves. When we “break bread,” we are breaking through our crusty exteriors to open up to our soft, warm hearts, which we usually keep protected.
Catechists need to help the rest of the community understand this core meaning of both family meals and the Sunday Eucharist. Both meals, the meal of the domestic church and the meal of the parish church, are sacred moments during which we reveal the heart of God to each other by being willing to be broken ourselves.
You might provide some fresh-baked rolls for folks to break open at their next meal, or encourage them to buy an uncut loaf of bread for their next family dinner. After praying the blessing, someone at the table could break apart the rolls or the loaf (instead of slicing it) for everyone to share. As families break the bread, they might also break open God’s word, reflecting on a simple question that flows from the Sunday readings.
Encourage family members to see in the broken bread the brokenness of the world, the nourishment of faith, and the commitment to share our lives with each other just as we share bread with each other.
Share
Sharing, of course, is the whole point of both the family meal and the Sunday Eucharist. Standing in solidarity with one another at the Eucharistic table is about more than good manners. This symbolic action says we also stand in solidarity with the poor. Every meal, whether in the household or the parish liturgy, should deepen our faith in Jesus Christ and in his mission. Jesus’ basic mission was to serve the poor. When we eat and drink the body and blood of Christ, we stand for Christ. We stand for mission. We stand for justice. Christian meal sharing, if it is to be a celebration of Jesus Christ, is always about standing up for what we believe.
Julia Child had a mission—to teach us about the spirituality of meal. The mission of the Christian teacher is much more. By focusing on the four basic actions of Eucharist—take, bless, break, and share—we can help family meals become a recipe for deeper faith. Bon appétit! RTJ
Nick Wager is a parish trainer, editor, and author of the book Whole Community Liturgy, Twenty-Third Publications. His web site is www.nickwagner.net
